Sunday, August 12, 2012

Love ya Arranged? For me it is..

“I can’t marry someone whom I have met only once or may be twice.”
“Love marriage obviously but I’m afraid if my parents would second my thoughts.”
“Love marriage is the way to go!”
“Arranged marriage sucks!”
I’m sure most of us would have heard these lines many a times. Love marriage vs Arranged marriage, it is easily one of the most talked about topic. Almost every one of us would have found ourselves as a part of this never ending discussion at least once. It’s a common topic of discussion among the most happening breed of people in our country- “ BACHELOR’S.” So, what conclusion you drew once the discussion is over? Love marriage? Ok, at least 70-80 percentages of us have seen the people around us favouring Love marriages over their counterpart, right?
If you ask me, almost every time this debate (Yes, a debate! We don’t do discussions in India. Be it parliament or a group discussion for interview, we only do debates) end with a result tilted more in favour of love marriage. They say love marriages are made in heaven. Ahh.. so cute no? God, himself has found an angel for me. I’m what? Son of god?
I would like to share a small story before moving further. I have this friend who got married around two years back. Theirs was a love marriage. They met during our MBA days (We three- me, my friend and his wife were classmates). It was not late when they fell in love. Soon, both of them decided to leave the hostel and moved into a separate two room flat together. They were happy because now they were able to spend more time together. And I was fumed because he didn’t have any time for me now.

We completed our MBA, got job offers and soon we had our first pay check in our hands. We decided to celebrate this grand occasion. We threw a party for each of us. It was during that party, my friend announced that he and his girl friend were getting married. At first I was surprised because they were not settled in their life yet but then I felt happy for them. They were meant to live with each other.  Six months later they got married.
However, one year after their marriage I came to know that they are getting divorce. I was shocked! Their happiness was replaced by boredom which means they stopped enjoying which leads to irritation, irritation lead to fighting and ultimately they decided to call it a day.
It is one of the few cases of love marriage that went wrong for few people around me. I’m not saying that I’m against love marriage. It is just that I have seen more love marriages falter than the arranged ones. What I have realised over a period of time that love marriage brings a lot of compromises with it and it is one of biggest reasons that make them unsuccessful. Also in few cases being jealous and paranoid pushes to cheat their partners.
On the other hand so far I have not heard about anyone whose was an arranged marriage and it went wrong. But then I’m no one to draw a conclusion that love marriages don’t work. There are thousands of people who are living a happy life even after many of years of marriage and theirs was a love marriage. It is just that it works for some and doesn’t work for some. Love marriage or arrange marriage, everyone expects love, trust and understanding from their partner.
Like everything, both types of marriages have their shares of pros and cons. I can write hundreds of pages on them. However, if someone asks me, my answer would be- Arranged marriage is the way to go!
My parents gave birth to me. They grew me, selected the type of food I would eat, I didn’t have a say in the school I would go. I was shifted to a different school during my primary education because my Mom was principal of other school. They also had a major role in selecting my engineering college. So, basically they spoiled me. And hence I want to give them the opportunity to search a life partner for me (obviously I would decide which girl I’m going to marry out of the options they would provide me). It would be my marriage. I would be spending my life with my wife. I would give birth to few kids. I want three kids. Two of them will represent India in Olympics. If I’m going to do everything what they will do? So I’m giving this opportunity to them to provide me with options. I said they spoiled me!
In the end, I want to say- marriages are definitely made in heaven. In case you are lucky you might find your soul mate before marriage. People commit suicide or go on wrong path if things don’t go as they wanted. I want to say move on! Life is really beautiful. May be that person was not the one for you. May be you haven’t met the one who is made for you. May be someone else is waiting for you. So, never hesitate to go for an arranged marriageJ.
These are my thoughts; you are free to differ from me. For me arranged marriage is the way to go. The excitement, the thrill that it bring with it is just amazing. You discover something new about your partner almost every day which might not happen in case of a love marriage. And by the time you realises that you have discover everything about your partner- you becomes a DAD/MOM and right then and there a new journey begins!   

P.S. This post is written for Love marriage ya Arranged marriage contest in Indiblogger. Kind of my first non-fiction post and also first time I have participated in a contest at Indiblogger :)



Harshita Srivastava said...

So I am finally watching so many entries for the latest contest up on Indiblogger and I've been too lazy to plant myself on chair and actually write about this...
You know I've been too busy with my novel these days ;) A lazy person always has excuses...
By the way I really liked this post...Good work :)

Anjali Saini said...

You have expressed your thoughts nicely. BTW what will your third kid will do ? Any plans for him or her :P

A Frivolous Analyser said...

Why only two of your kids will go to Olympic, why not all three of them :) ... Nicely written.

Tanvi said...

haha i found it so entertaining :D This debate well best to leave it with mum dad... I find someone and I want to get settled then i might tell my mum dad, what they decide will be the best. Yes or no is a matter of judgement and I have learnt to go by their decision without questioning again :P so easy one for me otherwise BE SINGLE :D :D...and long long way to go :P
The thrill you spoke about, i agree :D
And I am so glad for your future lady, you settled your case with just 3..there are guys who dream about making a cricket team :P lol hehe
And nice post :) all the best or your first ever contest :)


palak said...

hey dats a nice entertaining post :) hehe !! loved it !! though i hardly believe in arranged marriages bt yet i loved ur opinions!! keep gng man !! long way!! awsm wrk!

Divya said...

Interesting :) :) I am still neutral at most times about which marriage works best - I would like to have a love marriage but then - there isn't anyone in sight to fall in love with :P

Prasoon said...

@ Harshita.. I think it has to do with the topic of contest. It is not that tough. Best of luck for your novel! :) :)

@ Anjali- Thanks! I haven't decided about it yet :D

@Frivolous- Lol.. probably because third one wud be a part of Indian cricket team and cricket is not an Olympic sport! :)

Prasoon said...

@ Tanvi- Thanks Tanvi! Yes, it's a never ending debate. Frankly, I'm not a big fan of being single but as u said it's a matter of not finding anyone :D

Well a cricket team wud be very harsh on my future lady :P .... three wud do for me.. :) :)

@ Palak- Yep, very few ppl wud second my opinion. At times, I too find it hard to believe in arranged marriages.. :P.. Thank you! :)

@ Divya- Ha ha.... Who doesn't want to have a love marriage? But as you said there isn't anyone in sight to fall in love with. You almost got the point.. :P

Aarthy said...

My opinion is that all marriages are made in heaven .. Be it Love or arranged .. But whether they were made to work or not is a big question in both cases :)
Probably Love marriages are more exciting and it certainly saves you from the not so nice task of 'looking for a partner' ..The biggest bane of arranged marriages is the pressure and despair that mounts as the search is on ..

vajra said...

Nicely written..Came to know some interesting stmnts thru the post....even I was in a question wt third kid do...:) :)..joining in cricket ..ha ha for the contest..

Ashwini C N said...

I guess I've expressed my opinion in many other blogs as well, what matters is not how the wedding is arranged, It all goes down to how the two people would learn to adjust with each other!

Prasoon said...

@ Aarthy..Yes.. the big question will always be there. I agree that love marriages to saves you from task of looking for a partner but trust me m finding the same task very exciting.. :)

@ Vajra.. Thank you ! :) :)

Prasoon said...

@ Ashwini.. very true..

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